The lesson I'm learning

I've had quite an unusual week this week. My emotions have been meandering through all sorts of territories, like a wild river with no sense of direction. I took some time to write in my journal this morning, which helped me see many blessings I hadn't noticed before. I've been trying to think of a way to describe how I feel and what I've learned and it's hard to put into words. What I did do, was think of an analogy, much like a parable, that comes close to what I've been going through this week.

"Once upon a time there was a man walking along a well-worn, albeit dusty, barren road. At length, he came upon a black stone in the road, small enough to fit in the palm of his hand. The stone stood out because of its remarkable blackness; it did not look like it belonged there. As he picked up the stone, he noticed immediately that it weighed more than it looked like it should. This caused him to inspect the stone in ernest. He discovered that the stone was not actually black, but it was coated with a layer of something black. It was a kind of dense, chalky ash that did not come off easily, but with expending some effort, it could be removed. He put the stone in his pocket and carried it home.

When he arrived home he endeavored to remove the outer layer so that he could reveal the real stone beneath. He rubbed it, wiped it, brushed it, even took it to a pail of water and scrubbed it. Little by little, the blackness wore away. When he finished, he was satisfied. He did not hold a stone, but an immense and precious diamond. He immeidately wondered how many people must have seen this same stone in the road and passed over it without a second thought because of its appearance? He held it up to the light and it was almost luminous. He took it out to his garden and placed it in an honored place among his most beautiful flowers. There it shone in the sun and by adding richness to his surroundings, gave him great happiness."

In my present circumstance I am the stone in this story. Sometimes the blackness is sorrow; sometimes it is suffering and pain; sometimes it is sin. But these things are not who I am underneath and I know that what I am going through is the process of being "rubbed clean." Yes, it hurts. Yes, it's painful, but it is also necessary. I can't remove the blackness on my own - it must be done by the Savior. But He does it because He knows what I am underneath. I know He wants me to be happy, but even more than being happy, He wants me to be better. He is helping me to become the man He knows I can be. I haven't yet caught that vision in full. I don't always know what I am worth, but I am learning to trust that he does.