It's annoying that life doesn't stop. Work is still there; school is still there; etc. Just life in general keeps going. I know that it isn't just my grandpa's passing that's hard. My dad has been on my mind a lot too. His birthday was Wednesday and the anniversary of his death is next Friday. I still miss him, but know he is near. I feel torn between being sad for relationships that ended too soon and also being... I don't know how to describe it... maybe "all mourned out" is the best way to say it.
I think I just need to plan to take some time to get away from everything. I don't know where or when, but I think if life isn't going to stop, then maybe I need to be the one to "stop."
My step-mom shared with us a gift that she was given by a lady in HR who had helped them quite a bit when my dad first got sick. My step-mom had commented that she was sad my dad would never get his well deserved retirement party, i.e., recognition for his 20+ years working for the church. Well, this thoughtful HR lady gave my step-mom a piece of granite from the original temple building site on temple square with a plaque on it honoring my dad for his service. It was a really nice gesture and very thoughtful. I'll have to get a picture of it.
Hope is elusive sometimes isn't it? Maybe I get so used to it at times that I misplace it without realizing; then I get doubtful. But that is part of the good news of the gospel, that hope is still there just waiting for me to remember it and pick it back up again. It comforts me each time. I wrote a poem during a hopeful moment when I was struggling with my dad's illness. I know I've posted it before, but the post was a little long so I'll just copy and paste it here again. (If you want to read the longer post, you can read it here.)
I really do have a lot to be thankful for...
Gratitude
We had time to talk,
to listen,
to understand,
We had time to laugh,
to wonder,
to explore,
We had time to reach out,
to heal,
to mend,
We had time to ponder,
to remember,
to learn,
We had time to live,
We had time to love,
and, in time...
We will have eternity.
Micah James Foster
For Robert Dennis Foster
Mar. 2, 1947 – Mar. 11, 2007
1 comment:
I didn't know about that plaque that they made for Bob. I'll have to ask my Mom to see it. I've also been thinking about him a lot lately. When he was sick and he and my mom were moving, Deb and I were arguing about who would get a book that was from our childhood. I didn't know it, but Bob ordered a new one for me. (It is called, Pickel Chiffon Pie.) My kids love that book and I always think about Bob when I read it to them.
I get sad because I think he would have really enjoyed my kids, and they would have really loved him. Especially McKenna- I think that he would really 'get' her- most people don't. I really miss him.
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