Talk

Sorry for the long post, but I just decided to put my talk "out there," rather than try to summarize it.


"I know that you all see me each week, but I don’t get much of a chance to really interact with you so I thought I would take a few minutes and just tell you a little bit about myself.

My name is Micah Foster. I am currently living in Marilyn Foster’s home while she is serving a mission in Frankfurt, Germany. Marilyn is my step-mom and I am Bob Foster’s son, for those of you who may have known him.

I was born in Virginia, but we moved to Idaho when I was about 2 to be closer to family - which may have something to do with why we then kept on moving every couple of years; at least until we finally settled in Highland, Utah when I was about 8 and that’s where I consider myself from. I am the youngest of three children, I have two sisters and my mom currently lives in Lehi, down by Thanksgiving Point. I used to hate being the “baby” of the family, but I am old enough now to realize that whatever drawbacks it came with, I was really good at it and it also made me terribly interesting so I’ve made my peace with it.

I am currently a full-time graduate student at the University of Utah working on a Master’s degree in Speech Language Pathology. It’s a two year program, which they tell me goes really fast, but right now it doesn’t feel that way. In fact, I spend most weeks wondering if I’m going to make it through at all, as it’s a very difficult program, but I also love what I’m learning and I know it’s where I need to be right now. In fact, going back to school was a bit of a risk for me. I spent the last 11 years working in Human Resources – I’ve been at both the University of Utah and Intermountain Health Care – and wasn’t sure I was capable of quitting a full-time job (and a full-time paycheck) and still survive. Well, for reasons I don’t have time to talk about today, I did it anyway and found that what I thought was a terrifying sacrifice in reality turned out to be a chance to receive many, many blessings and even a few miracles.

I have had 34 years to practice being single; and you know what they say, “practice makes perfect” and they’re right. So it’s nice to know that I’m perfect at something. I am not against being set-up (as sister Stringham can attest), but I’ll be honest, grad school is about a 70-80 hour work week and I am far too exhausted each week to think about dating; I’m not against it, I’m just not as young as I used to be either. (p.s. Sister Stringham, you’re going to make an excellent Single’s Ward Bishop’s Wife someday, so keep it up!)

The last thing I should tell you has to do with my hair. So, I’ve never had long hair before and what started out as kind of a joke has turned into a “thing,” so I promised my classmates that I would not cut my hair until I graduate… or get married (‘cause why not throw that out to the universe?). So you’re looking at about 8 months of growth with about another 16 months to go. The longer it gets the more I realize it’s going to turn into a “bullet” – which is a balding mullet, but since I’m also not dating right now, I’m not too worried about it. Also, just to forewarn you, if I happen to show up to church one day with my hair in cornrows, don’t worry about it, it’s temporary, I haven’t joined a gang or anything, it’s just my way of keeping it real.

That’s my brief introduction and still probably more than you wanted to know. On to the topic at hand.

So, I’ll be honest, I love/hate Brother Ardern’s 2011 October General Conference talk on our use of time. On the one hand, I hate it because it makes me feel guilty for all the time I’ve wasted in the past and also because my life feels so unbalanced now. With school being as intense as it is, I really don’t feel that I have time to do all the things I’m supposed to do and that makes me feel bad. I do acknowledge, however, that, ultimately, going through this difficult time in school will actually enable me to have a better circumstance where I can have more balance and more time to serve, but right now it feels very egocentric.

On the other hand, I do love this talk because it gives me perspective. It reminds me of what my priorities are. So, I kind of ended up in HR merely by chance. I was starting school at the University of Utah and needed a part-time job. I started out part-time and eventually took on more and more responsibility. I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Interpersonal Communication and that actually seemed a good fit for HR, so I just stayed with it. Unbeknownst to me, however, my life was about to change.

It’s December 23, 2005. My dad calls and says my sister and I should come over to the house (my other sister was living in Texas at the time). We knew he had been having some very minor health concerns and had a few recent doctor’s visits, so his invitation was a little disconcerting. He sat us down and proceeded to tell us what his doctor told him. He had Kidney Cancer and he was only expected to live about another 6 months. I was in shock. I don’t remember a lot of things about that day, but one of the things that stands out the most, was actually what I experienced that night after I had gone back to my apartment. I felt as if I were being torn in two or that a piece of me was dying with him. Arguably, one of the worst nights of my life.

Well, the sixth month prognosis came and went and I felt that everyday my dad lived past that six months was a blessing. Fast forward about a year. I went to visit him in the hospital. I cherished the moments when he and I could be alone together to talk. You should know that while my dad and I always loved each other and got along, we still were never as close as I had wanted us to be. The time I lived with him while I was school and during his illness allowed us to get to know each other better and definitely improved our relationship for which I am extremely grateful. During this particular visit, where it was just the two of us, I could tell he was solemn and contemplative. I pulled my chair up next to his bed and held his hand. We started talking about life and time and preparing to move on to the next world. I asked him how he felt about dying and I was not prepared for what he shared with me.

He said that death held no fear for him, but he was worried about something. He wondered whether or not he was prepared to meet the Savior. That really took me by surprise. Those of you who knew my dad, know what a great man he was. He was kind and thoughtful; he loved the families he home taught; he loved serving in the church and was good at serving others. How could such a good man be afraid to meet the Savior? I vaguely recall giving some typical reinforcement about how I felt that he was more prepared than he realized, but I mean honestly, what else are you going to say?

I think what surprised me about that conversation wasn’t so much what he said, as it was that I saw him in a way that I had never seen him before – as a child of God. I always saw him as just my dad - someone who I could rely on and who was just always there; someone I had depended on my whole life. But for the first time, I saw that not only was he my dad, but he was someone else’s son. It made me realize how personal our relationship with our Father in Heaven is and how important it is to each individual. As strange as it may sound, that moment helped me begin the process of letting him go.

It wasn’t long after that that he celebrated his 60th birthday on March 2, 2007, which was something he was pretty proud about. Nine days later, he passed away. It was March 11, 2007, exactly 5 years ago today.

“And we see that death comes upon mankind, yea, the death which has been spoken of by Amulek, which is the temporal death; nevertheless, there was a space granted unto man in which he might repent; therefore this life became a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God;”
Alma 12:24

“Yea, I would that ye would come forth and harden not your hearts any longer; for behold, now is the time and the day of your salvation; and therefore if ye will repent and harden not your hearts, immediately shall the great plan of redemption be brought about unto you. For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God;”
Alma 34:31-32

I don’t know what your lives are like. I don’t know what you struggle with. Statistically I suppose some of us here struggle with depression, perhaps self-esteem issues; some of us here struggle with finances or maybe with our temper. Some of us struggle with addictions to pornography, alcohol, tobacco, gambling, food even. I don’t know what it is in your life that may be preventing you from preparing yourself to meet the Savior one day. But I do know this: one day, you will meet the Savior. And the way you live now, right now, today, will determine whether you see him as THE Savior or YOUR Savior.

My invitation is for all of us to follow Brother Ardern’s advice: devote your time to the things that matter most. And what matters most is your relationship to your Father in Heaven and to YOUR Savior. Repent. Qualify for mercy. There is no better time than now.

I testify to you that the atonement is real. It’s power is real. Change is possible. Forgiveness is possible. Forget about the past – start from wherever you are right now and do your best. Be patient and forgiving of yourself. Allow the Savior to forgive you. If your sins are of a nature that you need to confess to the Bishop, confess them, don’t wait, don’t put it off. I know God lives. I know we are each precious to him. I know he is there and I know he will help you the way he helped my dad and the way he is helping me. But we have to act – we have to do our part because he cannot force us back to him. But once we choose to follow we begin our preparation. I pray that we will spend our time preparing for our return and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."