Anniversary

What do you call the Anniversary of someone’s death? (This is not a riddle) I mean, other than the “Anniversary of someone’s death.” Deathday, doesn’t seem right… a little too Harry Potterish (for those of you who would know about that). Deathiversary? No, not right either… I’ll keep thinking about it.

Today is the Anniversary of my dad’s death. It’s been two years, but I still remember the events like they happened yesterday. I’ve already talked about it, so I won’t go into detail. But I was thinking about some of the lessons I’ve learned from my dad’s experience and eventual death that I would want to talk about.

1 – The Lord’s time frame is not mine. It’s a harsh lesson, but I’m beginning to suspect that time makes faith possible, and even necessary…

2 – When an outcome is decided by the Lord, I know it is right, whether I agree or not.

3 – Embracing the challenge (in spite of fear) brings strength, while allowing myself to feel fear only, brings weakness.

I don’t know how I am incorporating these lessons in my life. I think I don’t necessarily use them everyday, but I know they are true and that is comforting for the times when I need them.

I recall someone once saying that, “knowing is half the battle.” I agree. But then, what’s the other half? I think it is doing. I think Knowing and Doing go hand-in-hand, but I believe they are not mutually exclusive. I can “do” something without knowing why, or I can “know” to do something, but not “do” it. For example, I can pay my tithing, even though I may not “know” why I’m doing it, or I can know that I ought to pay my tithing, but not “do” it.

I only mention this because I have noticed a pattern in my life. I have learned a lot of things (such as the three things I listed above). In that respect, I have fought “half the battle.” But just because I have learned something, doesn’t mean that I am automatically able to do it. It’s the other half of the battle that is truly difficult for me. I know what all the commandments are, and yet, I am not able to keep all of them. I might know that the Lord’s time frame is his own, that He decides His own outcomes, and that facing challenges bring strength, but I don’t always act on that knowledge.

I’m not going to go into all the reason’s why I don’t “do” what I “know” is right, I think that’s pretty specific to each individual, but my point is, I think this is a common condition of mortality and I think this is what makes all of us equal. I don’t know anyone to does ALL the right things ALL the time. The other thing this makes me realize is that everyone learns lessons in their own (i.e., the Lord’s?) timeframe and that I am in no place to judge others for their trials, sins or weaknesses. They are learning to “know” and “do” in their own way and the Lord is in charge of them. How can I condemn someone for doing something wrong by saying, “How they could that, I thought they “knew” better…” when I myself often do not do what I know I ought to do? Or maybe when I find myself thinking that, I can humble myself by also thinking of the things that I do wrong, even though I “know” better…

Wow, that was quite the tangent and a lot more serious than I intended…

I guess I only meant to say that a tragedy that brings you closer to the Lord, really isn’t a tragedy at all. My dad’s life and death are part of the plan of our Creator and that should be celebrated. So, Happy Deathday/Deathiversary, Dad, or whatever you want to call it!!