It occurred to me today that I probably post more often about my dad and not quite so much about my mom. So today this is about my mom. (And I know I can say whatever I want because she doesn't read my blog!!!) :)
My mom's life would make a great movie, I think. She's been through quite a lot and accomplished quite a lot and what I love most about her is that her past has never impacted her generosity. She's always giving something away, or buying food for people, or cooking food for people, etc. She's a great example to me of what selfless service means.
I know it's definitely part of her Hispanic heritage, but she's also very spiritual, which has made for some pretty entertaining stories and, I'll be honest, some embarrassing moments with friends. I never quite knew how to deal with seeing the expression on my friend's faces when they'd hear her nonchalantly talking about some heavenly being she either saw or spoke to, like it was common and no big deal (which for her it was/is).
Things haven't always been great between us, but mostly because of me. It was easy for me to misinterpret her behavior due to my lack of maturity/life experience, as well as a lack of understanding her. She's very protective and I often interpreted that as a lack of trust in me. She has a very strong sense of justice and I know I get my "everything has to be black or white" from her because something is either right or wrong, period. That was harmful to me because I would consider my faults and then interpret "myself" as either being right or wrong... and I was always wrong! Hence my need to punish myself for everything!
It's strange to love someone so much who also drives you a little (or a lot!) crazy, but I do love her. Her support and encouragement have meant the world to me!
Tina Neira-Vilches was born in Los Andes, Chile, the youngest of 4 girls. Her mother ran a restaurant and her father was a high ranking military official. When she was 10, her mother died due to complications from diabetes. Her father had several mistresses and was not in a position to care for them, so they lived off and on with relatives, however were mostly orphaned. A year later, when my mom was 11, she met the missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and their message just felt right and as if everything they said just made sense. She often remarked that what they taught was also the way her own mother lived and she felt a connection to her through truly Christ-centered teachings. At the time she was the only member of her family to be baptized. While her sisters soon followed suit, her oldest sister struggled to remain active.
At the age of 12, a friend of hers from school (p.s. my mom's outspoken nature didn't mix well with the strictness of catholic school!), begged her to go with her for moral support while she tried out for a radio contest. My mom didn't want to go, though she was no stranger to singing herself. To her friends chagrin, my mom ended up winning the contest and was awarded a singing contract. She was a pop-star until the age of 17. She wasn't a fan of the lifestyle and didn't feel it was conducive to life in the church, so she ended her short, but memorable career. (She was only kidnapped once and it was by college kids who wanted tickets to her concert, which they got!)
On expressing her desire to come to the United States, one of the missionaries she knew at the time contacted his family and they said they were willing to put her up for a while until she could figure out a more permanent situation. At the age of 18 she embarked on a journey to a completely foreign country and knew no English, that, to me, is true bravery! At any rate, they took her in, fell in love with her and became her family (the only maternal grandparents I knew). The missionary became my uncle! Her new sister, my aunt, was writing to a boy stationed in the army in Germany. He had a friend that didn't "have a girl" to write to and so my mom struck up a correspondence with him. They must have been some great letters, I guess, because he proposed - in a letter; she accepted - in a letter and they didn't actually meet until 10 days before their wedding. (This would be a fairy tale story if they hadn't divorced 22 years later, but such is life and, quite frankly, I'm surprised they lasted as long as they did!)
I suppose life really started for them with their third child, the little boy she had been dreaming of, when I came along! :) In around 1980 her father died, whom, beyond spending a summer or two with him in Vina Del Mar as a teenager, she never really truly reconciled with. In addition to his philandering, he was an alcoholic and abusive to her mother and oldest sisters. She wasn't a big fan of his, to say the least.
When I was about 5 (1983 or so) our family had the chance to visit Chile. It was still very militaristic and she was interrogated at the airport for over an hour about how and why she left Chile. It was terrifying. We didn't know what was happening. The rest of the trip was uneventful as far as that kind of thing, but very memorable in other ways. (To this day I still have nightmares of having my cheek pinched while hearing "Hay, que lindo!" multiple times a day!!)
When my mom came to the U.S. she was a U.S. citizen, end of story. She didn't do much to teach us of her culture. Most of what we knew was that she would occasionally call her sisters on the phone and "talk funny" as well as made food that my friends thought was "weird." Otherwise, we were American and that was that! (Still mad that we didn't learn Spanish when it would have been "easier," but se la vie!)
She's amazing and her life is amazing. I don't know how such an amazing woman turned out such a mediocre son, but I have a great legacy in her faith and fortitude. Love you mom! Happy Mother's Day!
p.s. you can hear some of her music on YouTube if you search for "Tina Vilches" or here is a link to a video of her songs that my sister posted onto YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR69t3QYmKg
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