Now that's a bad day!

I just LOVE ths picture, it makes me laugh EVERY time I see it!!!

Lately, it serves as two reminders: 1) No matter how bad I think my day is, someone out there is having a worse one; and 2) Even a bad day can end up being a good laugh.

Not that my days have been terrible, or anything. I AM having a hard time at work; that's no secret though. I have a great job and the money is good, but I am reaching a point in my life where I feel the need to contribute. I want to feel that someone else's life was just a little better today because I was there and I was their friend. Not that I need any recognition; I just need to feel like I was useful to someone. That's what makes me feel important and worthwhile. My job doesn't give me that. I know that any condition we're in is only temporary. My sister's quote on her blog from Robert Frost is timely for me as well. He said, "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

I love that reminder because it IS hard to remember. I recently gave a lesson in Elder's Quorum about the storms of life and how they can "cloud" our perspective because they are all we see, and so often it's hard to see past the boistrous winds and waves, and we become overwhelmed and afraid. I should say, "I become overwhelmed and afraid...," because I can't speak for anyone else. That's just been my experience. But life goes on. the storms pass. (The point of my lesson was that the Savior is our Rock in those times and he has the power to calm ALL storms, the natural, as well as emotional, storms of life.)

That's why I am looking forward to school so much. I have no illusions that it will be easy. I know working full-time and going to school full-time is going to wear on me, but I am excited because I know that this profession (Speech Language Pathology) is a step toward living a life of purpose.

My challenge now is to be patient. I don't do that well. I know, like any skill, it takes practice and I am grateful that I see this time in my life as an opportunity to improve that skill. It helps me realize that my Father in Heaven is not so concerned with my happiness that he won't allow me the growth that comes from trials. Let me say that another way, more than he wants me to be happy, he wants me to be better. With faith, trials make us better; with fear, trials make us bitter. Sometimes it's a fine line, but most of the time it's really just a choice.

Ughh! I SO hate taking responsibility for myself!! That, like patience, is also something I am not naturally inclined to. I've spent so much of my life blaming other people and circumstances for my unhappiness, that I have a "natural" tendancy to point the finger at anything and everyone but me. The last couple of years, however, have taught me that it's time to stop blaming everyone else and start being accountable for my own choices. It's amazing, but when I do, I feel free. I guess I would have thought that finally admitting that I am to blame for many of the bad things that have happened to me would have overwhelmed me with guilt and regret, and to a certain extent I do feel that at times, but, unexpectedly, I sometimes receive the same miracle that the Savior's disciples received (Matthew 8:26):

"Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm."

Now that's a good day!

At work we've been reading a book called "How Full is your Bucket" and as a project we've been filling people's bucket - kind of like a secret santa - with encouragement, praise, etc.

Anyway, I went to a meeting and when I came back to my cubicle I had paper posted all over the place. They were notes from my co-workers with compliments for and about me. It was very touching and I really needed it. I've been having a hard time at work lately and it was humbling to feel like I'm making a difference, or at the very least, having a positive impact on others.

I gathered up the strips and put them behind my computer where I can see them...

It made my day and will probably be one of the best surprises I've ever had!! Thank you Jennie!!! (My secret santa bucket filler!)

A particular kind of music

So, I really do like all kinds of music (except country music, which is an oxymoron!). But occasionally, when I'm feeling sombre or melancholy, I like music that is soft and makes me feel like I'm floating. I don't know why it's so comforting, or soothing, but I sometimes really need it to de-stress.


I recently came across one such song on the soundtrack to the movie Corpse Bride. I have always liked this movie, and the score, but there was one song that really seemed to match my need for calmness. I played this song over and over for a couple of days. I guess I'm totally stupid, because I just now realized that my need to comfort has of course been influenced by the difficulties of the past week with my friend passing away and reliving some things from my past.

In any case, I was pondering why this music was so touching to me and why I was so affected by it. And then, more slowly than suddenly, I realized what it is. It captures the sweetness of time passing. I'm usually in a rush to get things done, I never seem to have the time to do all the things that need to get done in a day. But listening to that song, and others like it, reminds me to slow down and appreciate the things that can't be rushed.

I feel a little emabarassed to admit this, but I woke up this morning far too early and I couldn't get that phrase "time passing sweetly" out of my head, so I went to my computer and wrote down my thoughts. It turns out, I wrote it in poem form. I wanted to share it here, but I'm not a poet, so I'm a little embarassed at how juvenile it must sound (I give you permission to make fun of me!). But in any case, I hope it serves me as a reminder that some things cannot be rushed, and it's okay to slow down and appreciate them. And fortunately, I have great music to help me do that.



Time Passing Sweetly

There’s always so much to do.
Each day is filled with things to be done,
Rushing from one task to another;
Because,
After all,
There’s only so much time in a day.

But there are moments in life
Where time is not measured by the quantity of accomplishments.

These are moments of time passing sweetly.

Have you ever been alone in the woods and listened?
Somehow, beneath the birds chirping,
Beyond the insects buzzing,
Past the wind sighing,
You can almost feel the trees growing;
There, time passes sweetly.

Have you ever sat and watched a day end?
To see the sun slowly descend,
To see the rays of light cast a golden glow through the air,
To see the clouds washed with color,
To see the sky darken into the solitude of night;
That is time passing sweetly.

And there are other evidences of time passing sweetly.

In the thin, sometimes fluffy, white hair,
In the wrinkles and lines of age,
In the stooped shoulders that have borne so many burdens,
In the step, not quite as sure as it used to be,
In the hands, bent and misshapen, but with the warmest touch,
I see time passing sweetly.

And one day,
Our hearts will be mended.
All our cuts, bruises, scars, and deformities will be healed;
Where we are in pain, where we are damaged and broken,
All will be repaired.
But,
Most thankfully,
Our hearts will be mended;
As time passes sweetly.

This is the comfort in the promise of Eternity;
Time passing sweetly.