Things I learn from Aphasia

I have class devoted to learning about Aphasia, which is a language disorder as a result of a traumatic brain injury, usually a stroke.

We watched a video of a conference that was held focusing on how to best counsel people with Aphasia. It was pretty interesting, but the thing that impressed me was the very humanistic approach that was adopted. One thing in particular that stood out to me was a quote that was shared that had no attributable author. I loved it so I've re-typed it below (preserving the punctation):

Anonymous Meditation
"We think we get over things.
We don't get over things
Or say, we get over the measels but not a broken heart.
We need to make that distinction.
The things that become part of our experience never become less a part of our experience.
How can I say it?
The way to "get over" a life is to die.
Short of that, you move with it.
Let the pain, be pain, not in the hope that it will vanish
But in the faith that it will fit in.
Find its place in the shape of things
And then be not any less pain but true to form.
Because anything natural has an inherent shape
And it will flow towards it.
And life is as natural as a leaf.
That's what we're looking for
Not the end of a thing, but the shape of it.
Wisdom is seeing the shape of your life
Without obliterating (getting over) a single instant of it."

Things I keep meaning to blog about...

So I was talking to some friends a couple of weeks ago and I mentioned something in passing that shifted the conversation. I guess I didn't realize, or I just forgot that it's kind of a big deal.

A few weeks ago I came to church a little late, not by much. When I say late, I mean late for me, the meeting hadn't even started yet. In any case the family I usually sit with had more family there than usual so I didn't have my usual seat available. Long story short, I ended up sitting next to Pres. Monson for sacrament meeting. When he comes he usually sits just behind us, so I didn't really think too much of it. Later that day though, people kept commenting on it, saying things like, "how did you get to sit next to Pres. Monson?", like it was a big deal.

I guess I didn't think too much about it because I'm used to sitting "near" him. But after thinking about it, I guess I realize that it was a pretty unique experience to be able to sit next to him. He usually sits alone so he almost forgot to pass the bread to me, which I thought was funny. There's no denying that sitting next to him I felt a greater spirit with him and I had a reaffirmation that he is the Prophet, but I also have to acknowledge that proximity doesn't develop a testimony. I could know that he's the Prophet just as readily as if I had prayed about it. It is special to associate with him, but I don't think it should over-shadow that we can associate directly with the One who is directing him.

Happy inspite of...

I didn't think I'd make it past the first week and here I am! We're already talking "midterms." I can't say that I've found my groove yet though. That will take some more time. I am at least starting to feel like I'm not going to totally burn out, so for me, that is progress. One of the hardest things I am trying to adjust to is a lack of structure. I mean, there are things I know I need to do, but the order that I get them done is totally up to me and that's unusual. I'm coming from HR where there is (usually) much more structure and I can feel my brain protesting at this new style of schedule. That and the amount of information being thrown at us each day is just overwhelming!

But as I was driving home today, I put on some good music and I was thinking about everything going on and I felt happy. I didn't necessarily feel peaceful or anything, but I was able to recognize on some level that I am happy where I am. Busy, yes. Trying, yes. Struggling, yes. Hard, yes. But I'm hanging in there and that makes me feel good. I think part of the reason I'm happy is because I am being challanged in such a new way and even though it's hard, its being hard doesn't detract from the fact that I love what I'm learning and I'm looking foward to all of the things I'll be able to do and all of the people I'll be able to help. That makes me hopeful and I feel like this time of great struggle is worthwhile.

That and I just finished reading Moby Dick, which I really, really enjoyed! Back to homework...

Catching up...

...Or trying to anyway. When life changes, it changes SOOOO fast! I am feeling really overwhelmed at the moment. Graduate school is proving to be more of an adjustment than I thought. It's just flat out hard! (There is SO much to read!) I guess I knew it would be hard, but I really couldn't appreciate just how hard it was until I started. Now I can see why people kept saying, don't have another job, don't get married, have a kid, or buy a house, in other words, don't have a life for two years. They really mean it!!

I know I'll get through it, though. I know I will adjust, it's just that it's taking much more time than I thought it would. It's really making me question what I think I'm capable of and what I think I deserve (I really hate that word "deserve"). It might actually be more accurate to say, what I'm worth. Which is really a good thing. I'm glad that I'm in a place in life where I can be asking these questions of myself. I think that, in and of itself, is a sign of growth.

I am sad that I had to quit my job this week. I will miss the people I work(ed) with. They were (are) so much fun! But, with the school workload being what it is (and being offered a position to work in the department, which is a huge honor) I know it was the right thing to do. I am so excited to be working for my professors, getting to know them on a more personal level will be a great experience for me. I will really benefit as a clinician from my experience working for them. (I start working for them next week!)

I have also received my apprenticeship assignment at the Clinic and I am way excited about it. So as some background, even in our first semester, we are assigned to a mentor who is working with a specific client, and potentially, by the end of the semester we may even get to conduct a session or two with the client (with our mentor present, obviously!). Then, our second semester we are assigned our very own client! So they kind of just throw us in the fire from the very beginning. It's terrifying and exciting all at the same time. In any case, I did some clinical observation hours over the summer and I saw a few clients in particular. Well, as luck would have it, the client I've been assigned to just happens to be one of the people I had observed most! I feel really fortunate to get to work with somone I "already know," and it feels even more serendipitous knowing that the assignments were all random! Yet another reason to feel like I'm in the right place.

Even though I go home some nights wondering how I'm going to get through it, I know I'm in the right place. I know that everything will work out because it already is working out. I love what I'm learning and I know that when I get through it, my life will be so much better because I'll be doing something I love and can be passionate about.

Woohoo!

After a few disappointing grades on a couple of assignments and doing really bad on the final I finally got my grade and guess what? I got an A!!! True, it's the very lowest percentage possible (93%), but hey, an A's an A, right? I'm glad it's done and I hope I never have to take an online class again - not my favorite format!!

Branding

I think I've bogged about this before, but I need a brand. (okay, I don't NEED a brand, but I want one) I want something that represents me. You know how, like, some people's email are surfergirl5, or cycleordeath, or whatever? They have a brand - something that they can say "this is who I am" or "this defines me." I don't have that. I don't really have a trait or hobby or skill that really defines me. Why is that? I wonder if Speech Therapy will be "my thing?" I guess now I just need to figure out how to make Speech Therapy into a logo to complete my brand...

I also want a theme song. I would play the song when I'm in a good mood, just boppin' down the street.

Hm... now I'm wondering if maybe I've seen too many movies...

Lame

So the whole reason I bought my phone was for its hotspot capabilities, however I just received a notice that now, if I want to use the hotspot, I have to pay another 30 bucks a month! Yeah, that's so not going to happen! Now I know how the netflix customer's feel! At least my phone does pretty well with most websites, but not all websites are "mobile compatible." Lame.

Spaghetti squash

At the moment I am eating Spaghetti Squash for lunch. There are a couple of ways I like it. The first, the "noodles" lightly seasoned with salt, pepper and butter - yum!! But since I am not eating dairy and butter is out, I am having them the second way I like them, a la spaghetti sauce, homemade, of course!. (The sauce is tomato, mushrooms, onion, garlic, ground turkey, and my own special blend of seasonings!) No, the squash does NOT taste like actual spaghetti does, but that being the case, it's still pretty good. Also, it's just a great alternative to regular pasta and much, much healthier.

Incidentally, I love Everyday Foods! I used to watch this program on Saturday mornings - I don't even know if it's still on or not - and I was shocked to find out it was produced by Martha Stewart. Normally, I'm not much of a Martha Stewart fan, but I really liked this show. The recipes were fairly straightforward and "doable."I think they even have a litte magazine they put out. In any event, this was the first time I had ever seen a spaghetti squash, let alone how to bake it. It makes me wonder what other foods are out there that are rarely used?

The Fall of Micah

First off, just let me say, I wish I had more interesting things to blog about. I always find myself fascinated by other blogger's posts and wonder how they can find such interesting things to say. Then I realized - they are pretty much blogging about their average day, but because it's not my life, it sounds interesting. Maybe I'll try to add more posts about mundane things and see what happens.

I'll spare you the background story and get right to the point of my next thought. (My sister's will tell you - I'm a horrible storyteller, so I'm doing you a favor! You're welcome! *SNAP*) This is the Fall of Micah. So you know how some people say's it's "their year?" Great things are about to happen; they can feel it coming. As if a distant train, bearing a cornucopia of blessings, is speeding toward them with nothing but a faint rumbling in the ground to announce it's approach. For some people, the train has more of a timetable and it's not just their year, but their season, for example, "this is going to be the Summer of Carl," or whatever. Well, that's how I feel with Grad School starting this Fall. It's the Fall of Micah. I feel like great things are going to happen. There's an anticipation I can't describe or even attach to any specific future event - I just think life is going to be great! (Someone suggested to me the Autumn of Micah, but it didn't have the same ring to it.) Quite frankly, I feel like I have been 'falling' most of my life and I appreciate the irony of finally 'landing' on my feet during a Fall. (It's amazing how many good things can come from a Fall! And, yes, that was a shout out to Adam and Eve! And, no, it's not just you, I'm cringing at my own lame-ness!!) So, this is the Fall of Micah.

On a different note. Most of my job now is to conduct phone surveys. (Yes, it's as much fun as it sounds!) Here is what I look like at work with my headset on:

Here's how I feel about wearing it!

Just typing my thoughts...

So I bought a new phone recently and I love it! It's a Thunderbolt by HTC; it's a smartphone with the capability to become a hotspot. In other words, I now have access to the internet anywhere I can get a cell phone signal AND I can run the internet off my computer from it! I LOVE it!!! I mean, I HEART it!!! (As a side note, I also love that I can feel like Harry Potter by saying that I have my very own Thunderbolt!! Yeah, I'm a nerd - I totally "own" it!!)

I cancelled my home internet about a year ago to save money and I'm really glad I did. Quite frankly, I can't believe I did without the internet at home for A YEAR!! But I really felt that with starting grad school in the Fall, not to mention my online summer class, that it was becoming more of a need. I did the first half of my summer class without it and it was tough. I had to go to the Library and be there ALL day - it was becoming extremely hard to do. Having the internet has made it significantly easier to participate in an online class - imagine that! It was good timing actually, my online class has gotten much harder where it requires me to do much more research. I thought I would be bored only working 3 days a week, but now that I have so much to do for this class, it's turned out to be a blessing.

Crikey! I just realized that I keep saying "starting school in the Fall," when I just realized - that's next month! Great googly-moogly!! I can't believe how good it feels to say "I'm starting Grad school next month!"

AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!! (kind of freaking out here!)

It almost seems surreal in a way. It was just about a year ago I was contemplating life and my direction when I made a decision to go back to school. Looking back, it's amazing to see how everything has fallen into place. For me it feels like some kind of divine intervention. A part of me wants to believe that all that has happened was somehow "meant to be," but I've learned another lesson. Sometimes, Heavenly Father just wants to bless me and He is capable of making things work out in such a way that it feels like fate or destiny or whatever. But really, it's just love. He loves to bless me when I choose to do good things. I know for a fact that I wouldn't be here without Him. I know that all the good things that have happened to me have been His doing. I also know that all the bad things I've been through have been for my good too. I don't know how to express that idea adequately so I'll save that thought for another day. Suffice it to say: I may have made some choices, but He made it all possible.